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Self Sabotage

Why when I’m feeling quite positive and those goals are within sneezing distance, do I do it? I can’t even explain how it comes about, apart from it being completely subconscious.
Yesterday I posted on Instagram this picture, and the blouse actually fits me. But by that night I find myself “finishing” off my sons burger, then I have a milkshake, followed a bit later by some sweets and then some more sweets……….ok so it wasn’t a massive binge, but I knew I was messing up the entire day and I didn’t care.
Until this morning, this morning I care, this morning I feel rubbish, this morning I’m sitting here wondering why, when things are going well, I let myself down.
As most modern day people I’ve googled it, self sabotage is actually about control and not fully believing I will actually succeed so deliberately controlling the outcome so that I don’t.
I know I have self esteem and self confidence issues, although most of the time I can successfully pretend I don’t. I need to address the voice I hear from the inside.
I’m hoping that writing down this last episode will help me recognise the sabotage elements and help me to not repeat them. I know I can loose the weight I want to. I know I can get to target, my actions may mean I won’t do it by the date that I wanted to, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get there at all.
From here on in I am going to practice:
• Finding something positive about myself to celebrate everyday
• Challenge any negative self-talk
I already strive to practice having a positive outlook, I guess it makes sense to also work on having a positive inlook.

#Icandothis

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