Mums Life

The last time

In May, my daughter turned 13, so I am now a mum to a teenager! Often over the years of my children growing up I recall this poem, it is true, touching and always makes me cry….
There is a last time for everything.

There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time. 

They will fall asleep on you after a long day And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child. 

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again. 

You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone. 

They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again. 

They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this. 

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions, Then never sing them that song again. 

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone. 

You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time. 

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realize. 

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them. 

For one last time.

-Author Unknown-


So I look at my 13 year old with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, we no longer sing wheels on the bus and she’s too big to curl up on my lap. But I totally cherish the other moments we still have. I hold her hand and tell her daily how much she is loved. Every night I kiss her goodnight and we talk about her day.

I don’t know how long it will last, when spending time with your mum will not be cool, I’m guessing it will be sometime in these teen years, but even then I will do my best to remind her that I’m here, that I’ve been there and really do understand and I will love her no matter what, forever.

Weight Loss

Insta-marketting

I am totally in awe of the power of Instagram marketing and it’s ability to get me to buy stuff I never realised I needed. As a slimming world follower and with most of my Insta friends also loosing weight I get a regular dose of weight loss friendly pictures and with it; if my “friends” are liking it I know that I am going to like it too. I even bookmark pictures so that I can refer back to what I’ve seen when I’m out shopping.
So when the last jar of coffee ran out I decided not to just pop to the supermarket to buy a new one, but have ordered these:

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I know they are not a magic solution, and I will not be skinny just by drinking them. But the clever insta marketing and brand ambassadors have me convinced that I need to give them a go.
I did get an email almost immediately after my purchase was confirmed, asking if I wanted to to join the team of ambassadors, but as I had yet to even try them I have not replied (yet!).
I have now taken delivery and had my first coffee and I will say the taste was really nice, a smooth mellow blend.
As luck would have it I have 30 days until a special event, I would seriously love to boost my weight loss and hope this may help.

I will keep you updated…….

Weight Loss

If you sort of do it, it sort of works

Ok so I’ll be the first to admit, I am not 100% on plan for 100% of the time.
I sort of do it.
This is why my weight loss is painfully slow. I know this and am honest with myself that I am on the scenic journey to target and this is why.
However, it may be slow but I am at least moving in the right direction.
At group this week the consultant was trying to explain in monetary terms the savings that can be made by being truly focused and getting to target quickly, thus saving many pounds. It sounded great, but for me I need to balance loosing weight with my family life. I don’t want to be constantly opting out of treats or sitting in the cinema with a water and brought from home carrot sticks!
I try to be good when I can and make better choices, but when I hear the ice cream man you may well see me with a whippy cornet. 😋

 

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Self Sabotage

Why when I’m feeling quite positive and those goals are within sneezing distance, do I do it? I can’t even explain how it comes about, apart from it being completely subconscious.
Yesterday I posted on Instagram this picture, and the blouse actually fits me. But by that night I find myself “finishing” off my sons burger, then I have a milkshake, followed a bit later by some sweets and then some more sweets……….ok so it wasn’t a massive binge, but I knew I was messing up the entire day and I didn’t care.
Until this morning, this morning I care, this morning I feel rubbish, this morning I’m sitting here wondering why, when things are going well, I let myself down.
As most modern day people I’ve googled it, self sabotage is actually about control and not fully believing I will actually succeed so deliberately controlling the outcome so that I don’t.
I know I have self esteem and self confidence issues, although most of the time I can successfully pretend I don’t. I need to address the voice I hear from the inside.
I’m hoping that writing down this last episode will help me recognise the sabotage elements and help me to not repeat them. I know I can loose the weight I want to. I know I can get to target, my actions may mean I won’t do it by the date that I wanted to, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get there at all.
From here on in I am going to practice:
• Finding something positive about myself to celebrate everyday
• Challenge any negative self-talk
I already strive to practice having a positive outlook, I guess it makes sense to also work on having a positive inlook.

#Icandothis

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SW 777 Challenge

Last week on my slimming world journey I participated in a 777 challenge, for those of you not versed in slimming world, it’s a non endorsed challenge where you follow the basic plan but ensure that you eat 7 speed foods a day, have at least 7 glasses of water and limit syns to 7. There were lots of people on instagram doing it and as my weight had maintained the previous week, I thought it would be a great boost. Overall the week was early good, it made me plan my days a bit better to make sure I had my 7 speed foods and I actually found the syn limitation ok. So one week later, feeling fab I bounced in to group fully expecting a massive loss, I would probably also get slimmer of the week and the contents of the “box”

What I actually got was half a pound loss!

Then I have to sit there and listen how Mary* is so chuffed with loosing 3, even though she had a Chinese at the weekend and two bottles of wine!  (*Although the scenario is true Mary is a totally fictional name).

I was gutted, I had tried hard, did I deserve more? Absolutely! – do we always get what we deserve? – Nope! But I have invested so much in loosing this excess weight, I tried, it didn’t work that’s all. Everyone if different, everybody’s body is different. This is the beginning of another week, I am so proud of how far I have come, I can and will get to my target.

All this said I would say the challenge is worth a go, you might get a really good weightloss boost. Or you might learn something new about the amount of speed you actually eat, if your taking in enough water, or counting your syn’s correctly? You never know unless you try?

 

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3 Years

I sat in a consultants room and was told that without surgery my heart would give up within the next 3 years. I was scared, I was worried, but I was also immensely thankful. You see just a couple of months earlier at just 39 I had had a stoke, I’m sure by now your wondering why I was thankful? But because of the tests that had been done, they had heard the heart murmur and had investigated further discovering I needed an aortic valve replacement and aneurism repair! To be honest I had put the shortness of breath and struggle to get around down to me being so overweight. Without the stroke I would never of gone to the gp with my symptoms, I would of just carried on until, well just until.

The months that followed, were dark I cried daily and was convinced that I would not make it through. As much as I knew I should, I couldn’t bring myself to tackle my weight before surgery, I mean who wants to spent their last days on earth on a diet?? This was closely followed by the guilt, that if I died, I would of let my children down so I cried some more.

Happily that is not the end of my story, The surgery was done and January 2016 marked the beginning of finally addressing my weight, it’s been slow but that’s ok. I’m getting there, I owe this to myself, to my children and for all those prayers through my tears.

xx

 

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An introduction

Oh my, this is it! I’ve finally started a blog! I can’t lie, it’s really scary and I have no clue as to what happens next 😯 I’ve not long found instagram and totally love sharing my life in little squares. Although at 41 I wonder if I’m a little bit too old to be going digital. But nether the less, here I am!

I work full time, am a married mum of two and I’m currently loosing weight by following the slimming world plan. Why I think I have enough time to blog I have no idea?!